What to do if you come across a GPS gaslighter.
Would you traverse the Tri-State for a pseudo-city boy?
Dear Elena,
What do I do if my Hinge crush lives in the suburbs of New York when he said he lives in Midtown Manhattan? Are we destined to never meet?
Yours,
Miss-led Metro-North
Dear Miss-led Metro-North,
I somehow experienced at least three of the five stages of grief reading those two sentences because, honestly, the only thing worse than a long-distance situationship is a surprise long-distance situationship that you didn’t want. This is coming from someone who started in a commuter’s nightmare of a complicated friend-crush-ationship, which miraculously evolved into a long-term relationship. I get the struggle, but at least we were honest about the obstacle from the get-go. Besides my own anecdotal experience, I can think of a handful of friends who have also had successful long-distance relationships as well as tons of folks with unsuccessful close-distance relationships.
The glaring issue here isn’t that he might live in the land of strip malls and car dependency… it’s that he straight-up lied about it! Even if this small lie isn’t necessarily a flaming red flag — maybe he just wanted to cast a wider net — there is definitely a bit of side-eye to be aimed in the direction of shady behavior and not being upfront. What else could he be lying about? He could be a murderer. Or worse, he might want to colonize space!
Might I also add that despite not explicitly stating anything about misrepresenting your location, the Hinge Terms of Service does include the misrepresentation of your identity, age, and affiliations. And let’s be real, GPS gaslighting is kinda creepy.
Before you start planning out your great escape from Penn Station to his arms, ask yourself: Does absence make the heart grow fonder, or is it time to smash unmatch on this suburban fantasy?
Not a Yes-(Wo)man is free, unbiased advice. Going through a friend break up? Man acting sus? Loud neighbors? Dog ate your homework? Submit your woes and I might write back.